This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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