Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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