I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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