You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
