After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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