It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
