I'm jealous of your bromance
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
