Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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