We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
