I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
