Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
