Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
