I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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