I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's JV to your varsity
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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