There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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