Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
