Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
3pm strippers are depressing
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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