Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.

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  (973): No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world. http://tfl.nu/0x21
  Replies (23) Good night (5075) Bad night (604)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6711) Bad night (1243)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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  (207): I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something. http://tfl.nu/x6k7
  Replies (21) Good night (6733) Bad night (896)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's gonna be a great weekend

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  (203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok
  Replies (13) Good night (6252) Bad night (944)
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  (510): View more from California

  ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!

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  (510): ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE! http://tfl.nu/j6yk
  Replies (7) Good night (3439) Bad night (959)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (715) Bad night (4224)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

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  (541): She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad. http://tfl.nu/yao2
  Replies (9) Good night (749) Bad night (2934)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3676) Bad night (935)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1154) Bad night (2826)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (1787)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.

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  (865): Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america. http://tfl.nu/zhnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1660) Bad night (1488)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.

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  (847): I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic. http://tfl.nu/aejw
  Replies (8) Good night (1116) Bad night (744)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.

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  (216): if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle. http://tfl.nu/1h86
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (337)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.

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  (512): I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you. http://tfl.nu/8f7o
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (994)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (255)

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