You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.