Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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(253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az

Replies (35) Good night (3860) Bad night (948)
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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (2100) Bad night (6110)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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(440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf

Replies (37) Good night (1270) Bad night (5786)
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(806): View more from Texas

yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....

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(806): yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac.... http://tfl.nu/v8jl

Replies (12) Good night (1074) Bad night (5376)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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(416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l

Replies (31) Good night (7997) Bad night (1190)
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(562): View more from California

I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.

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(562): I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible. http://tfl.nu/uxem

Replies (11) Good night (5501) Bad night (1015)
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(830): View more from Texas

Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester

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(830): Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester http://tfl.nu/187b

Replies (5) Good night (2015) Bad night (915)
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(914): View more from New York

He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

(1-914): View more from New York

Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

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(914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf

Replies (1) Good night (1758) Bad night (410)
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(916): View more from California

Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".

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(916): Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles". http://tfl.nu/t7tu

Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (566)
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(561): View more from Florida

Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?

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(561): Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club? http://tfl.nu/vdph

Replies (10) Good night (918) Bad night (404)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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(701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr

Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (502)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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(860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv

Replies (8) Good night (768) Bad night (387)
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(619): View more from California

Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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(619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh

Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (335)
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(425): View more from Washington

I am thankful for thumbs.

(425): View more from Washington

Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.

(425): View more from Washington

Land dolphins.

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(425): I am thankful for thumbs. (425): Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins. (425): Land dolphins. http://tfl.nu/9wit

Replies (2) Good night (915) Bad night (244)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard

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(330): Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard http://tfl.nu/qth7

Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (524)

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