Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?