Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?