Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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  (920): I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/8p2f
  Replies (15) Good night (3702) Bad night (691)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
  Replies (50) Good night (6599) Bad night (1393)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.

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  (630): just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in. http://tfl.nu/9xed
  Replies (43) Good night (1090) Bad night (8142)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."

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  (763): We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms." http://tfl.nu/x5sd
  Replies (43) Good night (1470) Bad night (7757)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

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  (716): An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready http://tfl.nu/od5a
  Replies (21) Good night (4391) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....

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  (708): You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark.... http://tfl.nu/9a89
  Replies (5) Good night (5251) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis

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  (203): apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis http://tfl.nu/rw8g
  Replies (2) Good night (4424) Bad night (683)
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  (932): View more from

  The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

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  (932): The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change http://tfl.nu/8ts2
  Replies (13) Good night (2173) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.

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  (828): Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid. http://tfl.nu/baq0
  Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (1929)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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  (512): I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed. http://tfl.nu/z4ve
  Replies (17) Good night (4290) Bad night (1872)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.

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  (201): A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns. http://tfl.nu/v0at
  Replies (5) Good night (1325) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!

  (315): View more from New York

  I get naked cuz your not there

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  (607): Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?! (315): I get naked cuz your not there http://tfl.nu/p9qb
  Replies (12) Good night (2800) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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  (661): TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us! http://tfl.nu/7jy3
  Replies (5) Good night (549) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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  (513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7
  Replies (5) Good night (305) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job

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  (602): I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job http://tfl.nu/2673
  Replies (0) Good night (599) Bad night (182)

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