That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
