Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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