WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
