brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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