God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Randomize
