you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
