Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
