moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
