Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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