apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i was born a porn star she said
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
