y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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