it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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