so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
