How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
