You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
