Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
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