Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
