he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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