But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
