It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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