im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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