dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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