oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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