Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
God, I missed his penis.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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