new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My pussy is not your playground.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
