Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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