Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
3 2 1 whiskey
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
