Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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