her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
