i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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