So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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