I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
