Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im part way to drunk.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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