Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
