Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
