Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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